Mothers Day

My Mom - Charlotte Wiggins

I am fortunate that at the time of this writing my mother is still with us (though it is amazing to me how that can be after riding around town with her driving!). I am more fortunate still that after 21 years of living alone in Virginia since dad passed away that she has finally sold her home and moved to the same town my brother and I live in. I no longer have to worry about her stroking out while cutting her grass as her homeowners association takes care of that now. I no longer have to worry about her being alone all the time or being a target of a break-in (the house she sold was right behind a 7/11 store). When she had minor surgeries I couldn't be there to help her out at home, now I can. Having my mother nearby is indeed a blessing.
But I would like to address this blog entry mainly to my dear friends who's mothers are no longer with us and in particular those who are going through their first Mothers Day without their mother. Mostly what I have to say is nothing they haven't already heard or known but sometimes it helps to be reminded of what a blessing of having a mother really is.
For you, Mothers Day (this year in particular) should be a celebration of the life of the wonderful woman who gave you life. It is a celebration of the values she passed on to you in your youth, a celebration of someone who soothed your ills, fed you, took you places even when she didn't feel good, taught you manners, listened to you spill out your heart when it was broken, cheered the loudest at your ball games or other special events. Mother's Day is a celebration of the love she showed you her entire life - even during those low times when in retrospect you think you didn't deserve to be loved. It is a celebration of the example she set for you that helped mold you into the adult you are today.
The Bible says in the book of Ecclesiastes, chapter 3 "To every thing there is season and a time to every purpose under the heaven." The remaining verses further illustrate that there is a time for everything, a time to mourn and a time to weep. But it also reminds us there is a time to rejoice (a time to laugh and a time to dance). Being human means there will be an element of mourning for you this Mothers Day because your loss is heavy, but this day is meant for rejoicing so while you mourn be sure to take time to rejoice and celebrate the wonderful woman who gave you life as well. Take time to celebrate Mothers Day!

ADDENDUM: it is now 2014 and days away from Mothers Day again. In the two years since I wrote the above my mother was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer for which she had to have her right jaw removed and a bone from her leg removed and installed in place of the jaw. She endured days upon days of grueling therapy, lost her ability to talk clearly (although she is understandable) and eventually got the cancer free proclamation which was short lived when the cancer returned a few months ago. Once again she is enduring the chemo treatments and thankfully the doctor is pleased with her progress and treatment. Time and again in the past two years I have considered how fortunate I am to still have her with us (even though she may not feel the same when I'm driving her around! Lol). Time and again I marvel at her tenacity and determination in fighting the cancer and also to not let it make her depressed. She is strong of mind, will and faith as well as an anchor in my life. Yes, I am indeed fortunate to not only have her still with us, but also to have her as my mom.

ADDENDUM #2: Today is Mother's Day 2015 and it is the first without mom who passed away last month on April 6th. I was so privileged to be able to move in and take care of her for the last six months of her life. I learned so much more about my mother than I could have dreamed possible and I re-realized things about her I had often taken for granted simply because she was there. I was fortunate enough to eulogize her at two different memorials for her. Life goes on and each day I must get out of bed and go about my day, but always there is a void where once there was my mother. That void is just in my mind though because she is not physically here, in my heart it is a different story. My heart has no void, it is filled with love and thanks for having been blessed to have the wonderful mother I had and knowing one day I'll see her and my father once more. But as I stated when I first wrote this blog entry - today I will remember my mother and I will rejoice in the love that she had for me and the example she set for me as well. Happy Mother's Day mom.