Men love flowers too!

  Now I like to think of myself as a manly man. I like the outdoors, sports, Jack Daniels, westerns, action films and fast cars. When I'm in the department store I head straight for the tool department. If it's more upscale and doesn't have a tool department but does have a sporting goods or outdoors department I'll hang there instead. In other words I have absolutely no doubts about my masculinity. Even so there is a part of me that enjoys things normally associated with those of the fairer sex. For instance, there are some chick flicks I like such as When Harry Met Sally or Thelma and Louise. There is however one area where I think women are totally lacking in understanding about many men when it comes to Valentine's Day - flowers. Believe me, men love to get flowers on Valentine's Day and more specifically they love to get them at work. Actually men love to get flowers on any day but just like women, Valentine's is special. It's not the flowers themselves we like so much as the attention we get in the office when they are delivered, or when you're seated at the restaurant waiting for her and she walks in with a big bouquet for you. Oh, sure there will be those guys who are snickering about you getting flowers, but those are the same guys who are probably going to be going home to an empty house at the end of the day and in all likelihood haven't slept with a woman they didn't have to pay for in eons. Getting that flower arrangement is a statement for men, just like it is for women, a statement that says "yes I have a wonderful person in my life who knows how to treat me right and that makes me a very lucky man (or woman)."
  So, ladies, take pause and consider the value and benefits you'll reap this Valentine's Day when he discovers the flowers left at the receptionists desk has a card with his name on it! You can thank me later :)

Fighting for our freedom?

  There have been several instances over the past few years when I've heard the term "fighting for our freedom" in reference to the men and women in our armed forces involved in the war... a war that doesn't even seem to have an official name other than the "War on Terror" or the "war in Afghanistan," but I digress. What I want to know is exactly how are these servicemen fighting for our freedom?
  Seems to me if they were fighting for our freedom there would be barricades, barbed wire and sandbags all around Washington D.C. and the deck of cards would feature most, if not all of our so-called leaders. Of course you'd probably have to have several decks of cards to fit them all in but my point is that our freedoms are more seriously in jeopardy due to the anti-American and unconstitutional positions of much of the legislative, judicial and executive branches of government. Every time a Christian is chastised for speaking their beliefs in a public forum or anti-gun zealots make headway in their gun control agenda our freedoms die just a little bit.
  In no way is this post meant to deride the sacrifices made by our armed forces. I grew up in the military and have a very high regard for these men and women but I feel they suffer an injustice when their purpose is misrepresented in the press and in public forums. As long as they are there we at home should support them in every way. If you want to say they are fighting for the Iraqi's freedom or the Afghan's freedom then I suppose that is okay, but that gives rise to the question of why are we fighting their war - shouldn't they be doing the fighting? Fighting for our freedom? No. Sorry, don't see it. "Terrorists threaten our freedom" you say. Sure they do, but it is the CIA, NSA and other intelligence services that should be seeking those zaniacs out and then passing the buck to the military forces of whatever country they are in to deal with them. At most we should provide advisers to not only assist but to confirm the results of operations.
  I was all for sending the military in after 9/11 though admittedly I had not a clue where we should send them. Like most Americans I wanted revenge, I wanted to strike back at those who imparted fear into our national psyche. I wanted someone to pay. While certain of our freedom's may have been suspended in the aftermath of the attacks it was only temporary and now ten years on our military should be at home, not overseas dying for nothing and I fear that is what it is - dying for no cause. I'm reminded of a passage in "The Walking Drum" a book by my favorite author that I would like to leave you with:

"To die for what one believes is all very well for those so inclined, but it has always seemed to me the most vain of solutions. There is no cause worth dying for that is not better served by living."
                                                                      -- Louis L'Amour

  Let freedom ring.

Is another American Civil War possible?

  Is it possible to have another civil war in the U.S.? If so what would it be over? How would it be fought?
  I have often reflected that another civil war in the U.S. could never happen because we are ONE nation now, united in our goals... or are we?
  What cause, issue, law, or reason could possibly ever cause the United States to once again enter into a civil war?
  I believe we are far past the time when race could cause such a fracture in our country. We’ve endured despair brought on by economic woes (during the Great Depression). We pride ourselves on being religiously tolerant so a religious civil war is unlikely.
  With the vehement divisiveness of our leaders in Washington over the recent debt ceiling issues and the ever-widening gap between the political philosophies of both our leaders and our citizenry I can’t help but wonder if the gaps continue to widen will our tolerance also reduce to such a level as to instigate violence, especially on a large or national scale?
  As I sit back and read the feeds on Facebook I am increasingly worried that the rhetoric is constantly heating up, especially from the liberal side which seem to be extremely intolerant of any view not coinciding with their own. Likewise, over on the conservative side the feeling is of a beaten down dog that is just about to the point that they’ve had enough and all it will take is one more bit of abuse to break their restraint and attack back. Neither side is a pretty picture. But as the tension and gap between the left and the right continues to widen it can only serve to poise us on the brink of violence and once violence begins it will be a quick domino effect that will once again bring our nation into the cauldron of bloodshed brother against brother.
  It could never happen you say? Don’t be so quick to jump to that position.
  Imagine a confluence of incidents within a short time span. For instance, a riot at the site of a the mosque being built near Ground Zero in New York, it turns violent and several are injured, some perhaps killed. About the same time a demonstration either in support of or against illegal immigration in one of our Arizona border towns also turns violent and bloody, leaving several dead, including children. Meanwhile over in San Francisco a sniper is targeting gay individuals and accidentally kills a pregnant woman. In the south tensions are already high because jobs have been lost to illegal immigrants and when a bill is passed that basically amounts to amnesty for illegals it causes more than a rash of hate crimes against Mexicans. Add to all this the anxiety and desperation felt by the population already because of the highly inflated price of gasoline (much more than it is now), increased taxes, escalating unemployment, the loss of Social Security, Medicare and other like programs and tempers will reach the boiling point. Hispanic communities will be targeted and in retaliation a contingent of Mexicans will strike against the “gringo” population. En masse the citizenry will take up arms to protect and defend their homes and communities and firefights will ensue. The federal government will impose Martial Law, though due to military cut-backs there will not be enough troops to enforce Martial Law. Add to that the disparate ethnic nature of the armed forces and many troops will be reluctant to engage those civilians of their own ethnicity, further weakening the ability of the military.
  The government in Washington will begin to crumble as opposing liberals and conservatives will be unable to compromise and find common ground. The country will follow suit, further driving a wedge between the citizenry.
  An American Civil War II will not be marked by an identifiable geographic faction such as the North versus the South versus the West. The ACWII will be notable as a war of liberals and conservatives.
  How long will it last and how will it end? Ironically it will be extremist from a foreign nation who bring us to our senses. Because our reduced resources of the military, FBI, et al will be focused on enforcing Martial Law and civility across the nation, several members of an extremist group will be able to take advantage and subvert the law and immigration to launch an attack on the U.S., most likely in Washington D.C., New York or Los Angeles. This attack, much like 9-11 and Pearl Harbor before it, will focus American’s attention on the bigger threat of a foreign attack on American soil and providing an effect of “we can fight among ourselves cause we’re family but if an outsider tries to hurt us we rally together to fight the outsider and protect ourselves.”
  American’s are strong individuals, but more than that they are also stubborn individuals. We may not encounter another Civil War, but there will be divisiveness, even bloodshed before the days of wine and roses return.

Three little dots...

  One of the three great loves of my life contacted me last night on Facebook. Twenty-four years have passed since we last spoke, not because of any bad feelings though, our lives just followed different paths. During the course of our chat on Facebook we caught up as best we could through that forum. She's happily married with three beautiful kids now. Trying to fill her in on my life over these many years was difficult because for some strange reason I wanted her to be proud of me. I have enjoyed life but have little to show for my years and quite a few less than happy events so I worked around those parts as best I could, often using the common notation of three dots (you know - "..." ) to indicate there is more information. She made the comment  "those three dots can cover a lot more than can be typed on fb." That simple statement really packed a punch for me. How true it is! There was so much more I wanted to tell her and hear from her and yet all I could do was type three little dots.

  I believe those three dots are indicative of how we are losing our ability to communicate in an informative and meaningful way in the 21st century. Several times I've had arguments with female friends over something I texted or didn't text in a message. We try to shorten and abbreviate just about everything we do and it only serves to make life more complicated - especially when I'm dealing with my female friends (sorry ladies it's true - my guy friends could care less about a deeper or hidden meaning behind my emoticons and abbreviations). As a result I try not to live by my phone anymore. I answer fewer and fewer text messages and when I do I keep it to short simple answers, questions and statements. Of course that has it's drawbacks to as a couple of my lady friends want to know why I'm being so curt when I text them! It seems I can't win!

One breath at a time

  This one is gonna be a difficult entry. Difficult because it is very much on a personal level, a baring my soul type thing if you will. This one is about love. I wonder if I'll even be able to post it.
  You know, love truly is the reason we live. It's the reason each one of us wakes up every morning, put our clothes on, go to work, interact with others and at the end of the day lay our heads down only to go through it all again the next day.
  For some sad individuals it is the love of money, still others it is the love of power or any of the many, many objects of desire. I say it is sad because those people will never find what they seek, their love is in vain. But for the majority of us it is the love of a special person to balance out our lives that drives us to continue on each day.
  For me, love is huge. It is powerful. Seeking it is what motivates me. I've found it a handful of times throughout my life. Actually it would likely be more accurate to say I've found the one I want to love forever a handful of times throughout my life. But before I go there, let's go back to the beginning...
  My early childhood memories, the ones that actually embedded into my consciousness, are memories of times I felt love had forgotten me. A Sunday after church when the ladies were oohing and ahhing over my baby brother and I was ignored. To this day I still hear one pretty lady looking at my brother in my mothers arms and saying "He's so cute, I just LOVE him!" I'm sure someone said that about me when I was a baby but as a 3.5 year old child that doesn't matter.
  Fast forward a few years and I had come to equate having a partner, i.e.-girlfriend or wife, as a symbol of being loved. My parents had each other so I knew they had love. My brother always seemed to have plenty of girls so I figured he had to be loved. But I never had a girlfriend through high school. Had several I wished were my girlfriend but I was never that lucky. In my eyes I wasn't loved.
   It was my senior year however that I encountered my first true love. There was something about Christina that spoke to me. She was vivacious and full of life. She laughed at my stupid jokes and dry sense of humor. She was beautiful. She was my friend. And I fell in love with her. She was even the first girl I kissed. She was also the first of the women in my life that I would give my heart to. But it was not to be.
  Six years later I had returned to college after graduating to take some more courses. The week classes started was the week I first saw Bethany, and the instant I did I fell in love. Bethany had an exotic look to her (she had some Indian blood in her), her raven hair and curvaceous figure were intoxicating, but only mildly so compared to her personality and spirit. Just like Christina she was outgoing, fun, the life of the party and we were together all the time. I would have married her too except for one problem - she fell in love with someone else. I was shattered, unable to cope, quit school and never saw her again.
  It would be many years before I would truly fall in love again. Oh I thought I was in love, and in truth, when I married my wife I did love her - but it never measured up to the love I felt for Christina and Bethany. My ex deserved better than what I gave her.
  No, it was a few months after I ended attempts to reconcile with my ex that I fell in love with another woman. I'll just call her "V." Just like Bethany and Christina before her, V was a vivacious woman. She was exotic, her jet black hair made me tingle and her deep blue eyes penetrated my soul. V saved my life. I was at a point where I thought I was undesirable but she proved to me how wrong I was. I fell hard for V and to this day she is the only person on this planet that I would sacrifice my life for without hesitation if she were in peril. Though it did not work out I am thankful we are still good friends. My love for her makes it easy to be happy for her in her new marriage. She married a fine man and I'm fortunate to call him a friend as well.
  After a lifetime of being continually hurt, a lifetime of not finding that special someone who would love me without reservation or question I still believe there is a reason to get up each morning, still a reason to put my clothes on and go to work. I believe there is more than one person in this world for each of us, it is just finding that person that is so hard. The hurt and pain I have experienced at losing the three great loves of my life - I would gladly experience it all again just to be able to also know the joy of loving them all over again. I would rather die lonely and have loved them than to die and not have experienced the love I feel.
  So for my friends that whine about being alone, wondering if there is anyone out there for them... I say quit your whining, stop looking so hard to find someone and relish the times you have found love in the past. We only get this one shot at life so you better make the most of it, it's too short to lament for long.

What July 4th means to me

  As with most national holidays that involve the military, I have to stop and wonder how much we actually think about what the holiday is about and for. Now I'm not against a great cookout or barbecue on these days, and maybe people ponder the sacrifices others have made more than I think they do. With all the commercialization of just about every holiday I sometimes feel the reason for the holiday is overlooked or forgotten. Sure, I'll be doing something fun this July 4th but as always I'll stop and consider for a little while the blessings I have because of those sacrifices made 235 years ago by our founding fathers and the sacrifices made every day since then by our military men and women.
  Here are just a few of the things I'll be pondering:

1. How 235 years ago under penalty of death 56 men famously put their name to a document that declared the reigning authority (King George III) was invalid and the men and women of the colonies of the Americas were free and independent of the tyrannical rule of Great Britain.
2. I'll consider how over 235 years our national outlook and direction has changed. How there are those among us who attack and seek to remove freedoms we have enjoyed for so long. The freedom of speech is regularly attacked - on college campuses, in the media and in public by those who disdain any view on a subject other than their own. Just because a view or opinion is not shared by another does not give validation to someone or some group to silence that view or opinion.
3. I'll be thankful that I have the freedom to come and go as I please. I don't have to show papers or identification to cross from one state to the other, despite the fact that each state is autonomous from every other state.
4. I'll be thankful I have the right and privilege to voice my affirmation or consternation with my government by voting and doing so freely and without fear of recrimination for my vote.
5. I'll be thankful for and in awe of those men who so wisely worded our constitution so as to allow it the freedom to grow through time. That through amendments no citizen of the U.S. can be denied the right to vote based on their sex (19th Amendment), that slavery is illegal (13th Amendment), and that drinking alcohol is a right (21st Amendment).
6. I will be proud to be an American regardless of the intolerance to America by other nationalities - even our allies.
7. I will consider the disrespect displayed by my countrymen at events such as ball games by not removing their hats, not placing their hand over their hearts and not giving due diligence to our flag when the national anthem is played and/or sung.
8. I will also consider how our country cannot survive the continued illegal immigration which we are overrun with today. Each of those illegals deserves the same right of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness - but in their own country and not at the demise of our country. It is in our best interest to find a way to stop the flood of illegals but also to go further and help them find solutions for their problems in their own country (and not by giving them money).

  I am thankful to be an American. Sure there is a lot wrong not only in our world but within our own country. But even so, we are privileged to have the responsibility to not only continue securing our own life, liberty and pursuit of happiness but to also ensure that others seeking the same in their own country are allowed the opportunity to seek the same.
  Happy Independence Day!

What three war monuments mean to me.

At the Vietnam War Memorial

  This past weekend I was in our nations capitol to visit a friend. Before I left we went down to the area known as the mall - the great narrow expanse that lies between the Lincoln Memorial on the west end and our nation's capitol building on the east end. It had been, as near as I can recall and figure, 27 or 28 years since I had been there. In that time several new monuments have been erected, monuments that I have been eager to visit. As I stood beside the bronze sculpture of three Vietnam War soldiers at the entrance to the Vietnam War Memorial Wall I reflected on my youth and recalled how, when I was in the second grade, I was terrified I was going to be drafted to go fight. As an adult that seems kind of ludicrous but as a child the images I saw on the nightly news, not only of the fighting in Vietnam but also the backlash against the conflict at home in the U.S. were indelibly etched in my mind. War no longer meant "Combat!," my favorite '60's TV show where the hated Germans were killed each week, no - even as a child I could see that American's were not unified in just who the enemy was or even if there was an enemy and that was terrifying. Men and women, my countrymen, were being sent into the fray for a cause that never seemed defined. Many would never return home and many more still would only return in a flag draped coffin. They would all, years later, be brought together once again when "the Wall" was installed as memorial to them in our nations capitol. Last weekend as I stood at the start of the wall I was impacted at the vast number of names etched into it, but until you stand before it, walk along it, touch the names with your fingers, until you do those things the 58,195 names is just a number.

The wall at the Korean War Memorial

  Across the way is the Korean War Memorial, another two-part monument. Laid out in a triangular shaped area are statues representing the American soldiers from that war. As you approach you realize there is a wall of granite that runs along one side of it, a wall that is covered in what looks like smudgy hand prints, until you come abreast of it and realize the wall is covered in etched images of soldiers, sailors and airmen. At the head of the triangle a Korean War veteran plays host to the crowd and tells what each part of the monument is about. 

At the Tennessee pillar of the
World War II Memorial

  Further east just before the Washington Monument is the World War II Memorial. With fountains in the middle it is surrounded by pillars, each engraved with the name of a state, a U.S. territory and the District of Columbia - all places from which men and women came to take part in fighting the enemies of our country. 
  Throughout my visit to these memorials I was struck by two things. First, the unusual number of Asian visitors. Of course all three wars involved fighting different Asian countries, but still it struck me as odd that they would come en-mass to view our monuments to those wars. The second thing which struck me was the somberness evident among the visitors, especially with the Vietnam and Korean memorials. It was eerily quiet for such a large number of gathered people, but then I suppose the number of people alive today who can relate to those conflicts are many more than those who remember World War II.
  I've always paid honor to our military men and women. I am humbled by the knowledge they are willing to put their life on the line, even sacrifice their life for fellow American's they never met. I think this July 4th will be even a bit more reflective for me than usual. I'll give due consideration, not only to those men and women who served in the three wars represented above, but also to those who took it upon themselves 235 years ago to declare under threat of death to a tyrannical king an ocean away "that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

I love women...

Bethany, 1986
Pencil drawing by Charlton

 

  I love women. I suppose I'm not unlike most other heterosexual men in this world - or at least in the civilized world - but I tend to believe I take my love of women a step further. It's not just that I love women but rather that I adore them. Always have. I put women on a metaphoric pedestal and in a sense, worship them.
  I freely admit that I'm a chauvinist. Now there are different meanings to the word chauvinism, including the one we all are most familiar with: smug irrational belief in the superiority of one's own sex.* It is, however, another definition of the word that I associate myself with: biased devotion to any group, attitude, or cause.* To me that means I believe in opening doors for women, not letting them carry heavy loads or do manual labor that requires brawn. It also means that I treat them with the same respect I would afford to any man who is worthy of my respect. In my mind it is a mortal sin to raise a hand against a woman, even pretending, to strike her. I tend to be a gentle man but if there were one thing that could drive me to kill another man it would be seeing him strike a woman. There never has been and never will be an instance that could justify a male hitting a woman. Period. If a man finds himself in a position where he is being threatened with violence from a female, well, God gave him two legs to use and run as fast as he can from her. Some might think a man running from a woman is an act of cowardice or humiliating but the truth is to do so would show strength.
  I also believe it is important to teach our children these same principles. When I was married and raising my two boys I made sure they learned and understood the value of never hitting a woman.
  Women are equal to men in many ways and more often than not I believe them to be far superior to men. It has been my observation that generally most women tend to be smarter than men, they are more focused, logical and patient than men. 
  Obviously I love women for their sexual nature too, but it goes far beyond sex. The Johnny Depp film Don Juan deMarco is a glorious little movie that presents the title characters view of women in a way that could be my own. One line though sums it up nice and succinctly:

By seeing beyond what is visible to the eye. Now there are those, of course, who do not share my perceptions, it's true. When I say that all my woman are dazzling beauties, they object. The nose of this one is too large; the hips of another, they are too wide; perhaps the breasts of a third, they are too small. But I see these women for how they truly are... glorious, radiant, spectacular, and perfect, because, I am not limited by my eyesight.

-Don Juan deMarco as portrayed by Johnny Depp

   Though I certainly don't profess to share in Don Juan's success at sexual conquest, I do share in his proclivity to appreciate the fairer sex. It is the way a woman's blouse drapes around her breasts, or the way her evening gown accentuates her hips or her necklace lays against her neck, these are the visions that make manifest a woman's beauty. While a naked woman has her allure, I am inclined to become more sexually attracted to a woman who knows how to wear clothes that accentuate her shape and form. As an example take actress Kate Hudson in two different films. In Fool's Gold there is a beach scene where she is in a bikini which she wears well and looks great in and obviously showing lots of skin. Next consider her appearance in How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days when she appears at her apartment door in a yellow backless dress. The dress accentuates her shape and makes her far more alluring and sexual than the bikini in Fool's Gold. I suppose this concept is why I've always admired the women's fashions of the 40's & 50's.
  Watching women is probably my favorite past-time, so ladies if you see me out and about and I seem to be staring at you, please forgive me - I'm just admiring God's most glorious creation.

Signs for stupid people

  On my way home today I passed a new sign which stated "See the Light, Move to the Right" with a graphic of a head-on view of a fire truck with lights blinking. When I read it, the words just seemed to hit me the wrong way. I'm tired of everything being dumbed down so the stupid people can understand it too. Same goes for the "Click it or Ticket" slogan. I'm tired of it. I mean if people are really so dumb that they can't remember to pull over when they see emergency vehicle lights or if they are so stupid they don't understand that riding without a seat-belt warrants a ticket if you're pulled over, well if people are just that stupid then I don't want them on the same roads with me and they need to have their license taken away! Seriously! If someone is so stupid they have to have signs like that to remind them of the rules of the road then they shouldn't be driving. Then again I suppose I can be thankful I don't live somewhere that the people feel the need to have a sign that tells me not to cross when the cars are still moving. Really? No! You're kidding! I thought the idea was to try and cross the street while the cars are zipping by and try not to get hit in the process.

If you get hit, you lose! I think we should have signs put up that say "Cross Only When Traffic Is Moving" - maybe then we'd get rid of some of the stupid people that are throwing the curve way off and making it necessary to have stupid signs!
  I really think if the government is going to waste our money by putting up stupid signs I'd rather they spent it on magnetic signs people have to put on their car when they do something stupid. Cops and judges could sentence people to drive around with a big magnetic sign on the car door that says "I got this sign because I was STUPID and was texting while driving." Or how about a sign that says "I didn't "Click it" and all I got was this STUPID sign!"

  I guess if we have to have stupid signs though they should also be funny and give us something to laugh about. Like the sign in Europe at a train or subway stop that says "Keep back from the platform edge - or you may get sucked off." Seems to me that one would have everyone lining the edge of the platform!

Stereotyping is not a bad thing

  We've all done it. We've all looked at someone else and formed an opinion about them based solely on what we see. Blacks, whites, Jews, old, young, rich, poor, Mexican, Arabic, Muslim, Christian and the list could go on. Stereotyping people is nothing new and chances are pretty damn good you've practiced it several times already today in some shape, form or fashion. Stereotyping is a natural part of our makeup. We take information, be it aural, visual, olfactorily, or tactile or even information from some previous encounter that has embedded itself in our brain, whatever the source - we make decisions based on that information. Stereotyping is not necessarily a bad thing. Using an oft cited example to illustrate, suppose you are walking down a street and a group of leather-clad, rough looking men are hanging out and talking around their motorcycles on one side of the street, but the other side of the street is populated by women pushing babies in strollers, men are dressed in suits and a couple of priests are talking. You have to go down the street on one side or the other. Chances are pretty good you're going to choose the side of the street with the babies, businessmen and priests.The reason you choose that side is stereotyping. It doesn't matter to you that the bikers on the other side of the street are actually gathering at the start of a benefit ride to raise money for a child they don't know who is dying of cancer. You made your decision based on a stereotype.
  Stereotyping is a method of making a judgement based on current knowledge and/or previous experience. That knowledge may be in error OR it could be based on fact. Either way it is playing the percentages. Insurance companies do it every day. You may be the most economical driver in the world and always careful to go the speed limit but the second you shell out the money for that hot new Dodge Challenger or Charger your insurance is going to go through the roof. Why? Because insurance actuaries have stereotyped you as a speed demon eager to do the quarter mile against every car next to you at a stoplight - simply because you are driving a muscle car. It may not be fair but the insurance company is playing the percentages.
  Author Ninos Malek has an excellent article on his blog that illustrates this even better. You can read it here.
  In recent years another form of stereotyping has often made headlines: Racial Profiling. Whenever racial profiling is mentioned it is unfairly heralded as a negative. Truth is though, racial profiling is stereotyping. It shouldn't be seen as racist but as a logical tool in authorities arsenal to prevent crime and terrorism or to catch criminals and terrorists. Sure it can be maddening, even insulting if you're on the receiving end of profiling but in the interest of bringing a criminal to justice or preventing a terrorist act it is more than justifiable. A low-rider Malibu filled with a bunch of tattooed, hairnet wearing Hispanic men cruising slowly through any neighborhood at three o'clock in the morning is a prime target for the police to pull over and question. Why? Because, if the cops were doing their job they would be stereotyping the car full of Hispanics in the interest of public safety. Do those men have the right to be cruising around at 3:00 am? Sure, and after a cursory stop by the police they should be free to continue cruising. Any police officer or other figure in a like position who does not profile - they are not doing their job. When you think about it though, isn't that what the police do every time they parade a line-up in front of a one-way mirror? Yes it is and it should not be vilified.
  At the start of this blog entry I said "Stereotyping is not necessarily a bad thing" and I stand by that statement. What is a bad thing though are people who choose to rely solely on their stereotypical view of something and not be open to additional information which might change their view. These are the bigots of the world - people who are so close-minded about someone or something that they refuse to consider alternative or additional information that might possibly change their perspective or their stereotypical views. Stereotyping is a tool we use to build an opinion. You wouldn't build a house with just a hammer and you shouldn't build an opinion with only one tool.

My Bucket List

  We all have one but it took the 2007 Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman film The Bucket List to give an identifying moniker to the list of things we dream of doing before we die or "kick the bucket." The film also did one other thing that I feel is important - it depicted the characters actually writing down their lists not just saying what is on their list. Everyone should have a Bucket List and have it written down and placed somewhere that it is easy to access from time to time. One thing I've learned about a Bucket List over the years is that quite often some things on it will change or seem more or less important. Sometimes things will drop off your list and sometimes you'll add to it. The point of a Bucket List isn't so much to do things as it is to dream about doing them. Don't get me wrong, I think it is important to actually DO the things on your Bucket List but I think it is also very important to keep yourself mentally young by always dreaming about doing the things on the list.

Ice Diving in Antarctica

  So, that being said, here are the dreams that make up my Bucket List.

1. SCUBA dive the Great Blue Hole off the coast of Belize.
2. Travel to Antarctica and do an ice dive.
3. Travel to Europe and visit The Volkswagen plant and museum in Germany, the Louvre in Paris and kiss a beautiful woman at the top of the Eiffel Tower, take a canal ride Venice and tour Rome, visit the Normandy coast where the allies came ashore on D-Day, tour Athens, Greece.
4. Sail around the world.
5. Fly in an open cockpit vintage bi-plane and actually take the controls for a bit myself.
6. Drive a Model T Ford.
7. Get cast as an extra in a Hollywood blockbuster.
8. Ride a motorcycle the entire length of Route 66 from Chicago to Los Angeles.
9. Fly an ultralight aircraft.
10. Talk about diving, the oceans, and shipwrecks over cigars and tequila with my favorite living author Clive Cussler.

  Obviously some of my dreams are attainable and some I'll have to really work at. Mine aren't in any particular order and I've left a few off that are too personal to share in this forum but I'd be willing to bet you have some interesting ones on your list as well so take a moment and share them with me.

NO excuses! - YOU'RE responsible!

  Aren't you just a little bit tired of people too scared to take responsibility for what they say or do? I know I am. I'm tired of reading in the news about people  who don't take responsibility for the words that come out of their mouth or the actions they get caught in or doing. It seems the more people get caught or called on something the less merit the words of their apologies have. I don't for a second believe most people are truly sorry for what they said or did that caused them to feel they had to apologize. Sure they're sorry they got caught or they're sorry they lose their job or social standing because of what they said or did but I don't believe they are truly sorry for the actual words that came out of their mouth or the actual actions they did.
  Take a look in the news just about any day and you'll find someone apologizing because they were on the hot seat. Look at that congressman Weiner (is it pronounced "weener" like a hot dog or "winer" like a cry-baby? guess either way would be appropriate). The guy was evidently sending "messages and photos of explicit nature with about six women in the last three years"according to CNN.com. That in and of itself isn't so surprising in this day and age but the fact that he is married (to a pretty and exotic looking lady in my opinion) and a member of congress puts him in the frying pan. If those text or emails and pics or whatever it was had not been leaked do you honestly think he'd be apologizing? Now he wants to pull a "Tiger Woods" and seek help. Really? Dude, just own up to being a horn dog and keep on sending the "explicit" pictures and texts cause you know you're only sorry you got caught.
  The fake apologies are running amuk! I don't believe for one second actor Tracy Morgan is sorry for his recent anti-gay remarks, nor do I think Don Imus is sorry for calling the 2007 UCON women's basketball team "nappy-headed ho's." Okay maybe they are sorry they said it but I think they do believe what they said.
  NASCAR is bulging with curt words, sharp tounges and even flying fists and I get sick everytime I hear them apologize for their words or actions. Come on guys! Own what you say! Team owner Richard Childress kinda got it right after going after creep-o Kyle Busch recently. He stopped short of apologizing for going after Busch, instead owning up to his actions saying "I take all the responsibility for my actions last week. I am very passionate about this sport. I am passionate about my race teams, our fans and I let my emotions ... come in front of my passion. But that is behind us." Basically that means he said "hey I did it - now let's move on." We need more men like Childress.
  Now while I've had enough of Charlie Sheen in the news this year I must say that I admire him for not apologizing for leading the life he obviously enjoys. He does the coke, he does several porn stars at the same time - and he enjoys it! So kudo's to Charlie Sheen for NOT apologizing. Are you listening Tiger? Jesse James? Gov. Spitzer? Representative Weener? Come on dudes, grow a pair and man up!
  My whole point behind this litany is that each and every one of us is responsible for the things we do and the things we say. Sure you should apologize if you say or do something wrong but that is only the first step - you also have to follow through and make sure your actions and words are never repeated. Make your apology actual mean something. When you apologize you are responsible for those words of sorrow crossing your lips just as much as you are responsible for the words that made the apology necessary. This much I can tell you... if I say it I mean it and if what I say turns out to be something I regret then you can know my apology is real because I'm responsible for what I say.

Blondes vs Brunettes

Betty and Veronica
A classic example of blonde versus brunette

  I used to have a co-worker who had an affinity for brunette's (though his wife was blonde) and he was fond of saying "there's no net like a brunette." I have likewise held the same general pre-disposition for brunettes during my life. I've only dated a couple of blondes over the years and even though a couple is not really enough to formulate an opinion I must say that they did indeed tend to be more fun. I have long held a theory about blondes and brunettes but mind you this theory in no way seeks to make a statement that one is better than the other, it's just a theory that speaks to the way we are pre-disposed to stereotype blondes and brunettes.
  To understand this theory you have to appreciate the different qualities of dark and light, black and white, night and day. You see, symbolically black represents darkness and in darkness not everything can be known because the darkness hides some things. On the other hand white represents light and with light everything is revealed. So, subconsciously a brunette is seen as mysterious because subconsciously the darkness of her hair represents that which is not know.
  A brunette is often full of surprises since you can't know everything about her. She is often more serious and studious than her light haired counterpart, seeming to weigh and consider all information before making a decision and in turn she is taken more seriously by others. To illustrate this I did a Google image search for "mysterious woman" and of the first 20 images of women all but three were brunette.
  Meanwhile the blonde is seen as an 'open book' because her hair represents that which is revealed because of the light. The blonde has no secrets, she has a light and airy persona, meaning a personality that is more bubbly and vivacious. She is more likely to make snap decisions and deal with the results or consequences later.
  I truly believe the subliminal perception we have of brunettes and blondes is the basis for the stereotypes we have today of these women, especially blondes. I'm sure you're thinking "what about blondes who are naturally brunettes." Well I feel my theory still holds up because a brunette who goes blonde tends to take on more of the persona and traits I've attributed to that hair color. The same goes for blondes who turn brunette.
  I've often said "brunette's are the ones you take home to meet your parents, the ones you build a life with, blondes are the ones you have fun with, the ones you enjoy life with." Neither one is better or worse than the other, they both have their merits, their value, their desirability.
  And then there's the redheads... :)