Not too long ago I became aware of a fad that has increased in popularity. I call it the "Wrap-Around Butt Logo" pants. The first time I saw WABL pants was in the mall. A few young teenage girls had them on. The pants themselves weren't much to speak of and were not worthy of notice except for the sagging wording imprinted on the seats of the pants - "ABERCROMBIE." How ridiculous I thought, to pay good money for pants that don't even fit right in the first place, then to add insult to injury the wording on the seat of the pants is so long that it almost wraps around the whole pelvis area and as if that weren't enough, the whole package was extremely unflattering to the young ladies appearance.
As time has gone on I have begun to see more and more women wearing these pants with different words or names emblazoned across their rump. The trouble is that someone has sold these women a pack of lies saying that this fashion statement looks good. IT DON'T! Just like with those dang stirrup pants that were all the rage for a few years - women just don't look good in them. Oh, I suppose that somewhere there is a woman that these WABL pants look good on, but she sure isn't in this hemisphere. For most women WABL pants emphasize their "wobble" - and I'm not talking about how they swing their hips! For these women suddenly four and five letter words look like they were printed by someone who spent too much time in the fun house mirror room. Again, it reminds me of those awful stirrup pants where every centimeter of cellulite and plain old fat is highlighted, accentuated and flashing in neon!
I don't know who the fashionistas are that sell women these ideas about clothing when they should be listening to me instead. I can tell you in a heartbeat what looks good on women and what doesn't. I mean if you can't trust a bona-fide all-American heterosexual man to tell you what looks good on women who can you trust?
